Friday, December 16, 2011

Boston Santacon 2011: (FINAL UPDATE) T -18 hours ...

Fresh batteries slipped in our bullhorns with care,
With one day 'til Santacon, we all did prepare!
  • Flannels were tested against Winter's chill.
  • Bottles of hydrating fluids were filled.
  • Lists, and the Route, were checked and checked twice.
  • Mental notes taken: "To Bar staff be nice!"
  • The Four F's were gladly committed to heart.
  • "Mittens! A scarf! Now THAT would be smart!"
  • Twitters were Tweeted so the Mob could be found.
  • Trash bags were stashed to keep crap off the ground.
Everyone practiced their Hos and Good Cheer.
At noon time tomorrow: Santacon will be here!


* * *
Heads up, all you Red-Flanneled Fruitcakes! This is probably Santa's final update before he sees you tomorrow!
Quick recap of critical info:
  • Read ALL relevant details (times, locations, route & rules) posted here on this site!
  • Google map of Santas route (subject to change at any time) here: goo.gl/UMdJC
  • Assholes are unwelcome.
  • CASH: Bring it. That green paper stuff - you need it. Santa can't tell you how much because Santa doesn't know how much cab fare is from Central Square to your bed and Santa doesn't know how many drinks you plan to buy. But here's how to use your green backs:
    • Drinks: Takes a long time to close 200 tabs on 200 debit cards. Santas get impatient quickly so pleeease plan to pay in CASH.
    • Cover charges: If you plan to go to Middlesex Lounge, Phoenix Landing or Zuzus, there will be a cover. You don't have to go to those bars. Other bars in Central  (Asgard, Tavern in The Square, Miracle of Science, Cantab) also have bands/DJs and won't be charging a cover.
    • Subway fare & Cab fare: Santa never drives home. Never. Ever.

* * *
Stay warm! 
It's tempting to assume our collective hotness will keep us roasty-toasty in this weather, but will that be true at temperatures under 30 degrees? Pleeeaaase prepare accordingly. If you want to know how warm you'll be outside on Saturday, I strongly urge you to put on your costume and go stand outside for five minutes.

Seriously.

* * *
Consider bringing a water bottle
If you've got a water bottle that fits in your bag or your coat pocket, you may want to bring it. Cocktailers and bartenders will be busy fetching boozy goodness.  No one should go out drinking for 13 hours without eating and hydrating along the way.

* * *
Double check!
You've got lists. Check them.
You've got the route map and the list of bars. Look at them again and pack it.

If you think you've missed something, check the blog posts. All the info is here somewhere. And if you can't find it, send me an email.

* * *
Part of the greatness of Santacon is bringing a surprise bonus of liquor sales, tips, fun and good cheer to bar staff on an otherwise slow Saturday afternoon. Be patient with and gracious to the bar staff. Show your appreciation with a few extra bucks on their tip. This is what keeps Santa welcomed back year after year. The bar staff are Santa's hosts. 200 unruly Santas are difficult to deal with - disrespecting our hosts is the swiftest way to get Santa unapologetically ejected.

If you get to a bar that's already packed full of Santas, merrily Ho Ho Ho your way to a spill over bar or to the next stop. If you get the sense that Santa isn't welcomed by the bar staff, please encourage Santa to move along. Santa much prefers to hop down to the next closest bar than to piss off an entire establishment's staff and management.

* * *
Four F's
Do NOT forget the Four F's!
  • Don't fuck with kids!
  • Don't fuck with cops!
  • Don't fuck with security!
  • Don't fuck with Santa!

And remember: If you catch any Poser Santas breaking the rules, tell them to knock it the fuck off immediately or they’ll get their furry fannies paddled ‘til they fudge their flannels!

* * *
Warm! You  wants it!
Saying it twice.
A stick of chapstick, a pair of mittens and a scarf can make it a lot easier to keep merry.

* * *
Twitter!
Are you following BostonSanta on Twitter? It's the best ways to find Santa on Saturday!

* * *
Keep it clean!
500+ drunken Santas can leave a hell of a scar on the sidewalk. Please stick a small trash bag in one of your pockets and use it when you see someone "accidentally" drop any trash. Better yet would be if we all picked up after ourselves, or just didn't leave crap behind. But I'm just trying to be realistic here.

* * *
Things To PonderClosing this update with a reprint of the Santacon Guidelines from www.Santacon.info
SANTACON GUIDELINES:
  1. Santa does not make children cry. If you see kids, don't freak them out. Give them a nice smile and a gift (candy etc). Adults are a different matter altogether - adjust based on their attitude.
  2. Santa dresses for all occasions. Smart Santas wear multiple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment at the North Pole or on a stripper pole.
  3. Santa doesn't whine! We will be outside and walking - bring what you need to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.
  4. Don't be that santa. Drinking with Santa is fun. Babysitting Pukey McAlcoholPoisoning is lame.
  5. Always pay for your drinks and tip the bar staff well. We want to be able to do this again. Be polite and cultivate the goodwill of the local community.
  6. Pay for your drinks as soon as you get them. Santas get tired of waiting for santas to clear their tabs before moving on.
  7. No Santa's left behind! Santa is considerate of his fellow santas. Pick a few people you know and keep an eye out for them. Look for them when it's time to move. If you don't see them, speak up so santa knows to wait a moment.
  8. Stay with the Crimson Tide! It's not just "the more, the merrier" - Santa is safer with large numbers of fellow santas. And waiting for stragglers gets boring awfully quick.
  9. Remember: this is about fun! Most santas take their fun with a little alcohol. However, Santas will be unapologetically ejected for any kind of violent, harassing or intimidating behavior. There is no "Bail Fund" for Incarcerated Santas. If you cross the fun line into asshole land, you'll be on your own.
  10. Santa doesn't drink & drive. If you're going to drink, you must make sure that you can get safely home without driving yourself.
  11. You must address everyone as "Santa".
  12. You should "Ho! Ho! Ho!" like Santa.
  13. You're encouraged to drink like Santa.
  14. You may want to give out gifts like Santa. Maybe naughty gifts to give grown ups; nice gifts to give kids. Throwing coal at people is discouraged, no matter who they are. Yes: that includes politicians, investment bankers, the 1%, etc. But giving out coal might actually be appreciated.
  15. Santa doesn't talk to the press. Even "Ho! Ho! Ho!" is too dangerous these days.
  16. Read Santa's Four F's and then read these guidelines one more time.
  17. If you have reached this rule, you didn't get locked in a loop reading the guidelines over and over again. You are clever enough to take part in SantaCon!
  18. Have a great time!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Boston Santacon 2011: Update 3 - Lists, Costumes, Weather, FOUR F'S!!!

Fewer than 5 days and counting 'til Santa presses the big red button and the Red Felt Rampage is released!

Here's the latest from Santa:
  • Be ready for LOTS of Santa!
  • Make a list and check it!
  • Last minute costumes?
  • Keep you fuzzy flannel-clad fanny from freezing!
  • Four F's!
* * *
SO MUCH SANTA!!
This year is looking similar to last year - so be ready for LOTS of Santa! If you get to a bar that's packed full of Santas, merrily Ho Ho Ho your way to a spill over bar or to the next stop.

* * *
Make Lists and Check Them!
Here's a quick review of what you want to bring:

  1. Costume: Wear a costume or get left behind! Doesn't have to be a Santa costume. But you must wear a costume! Come as Santa or an upside down Christmas tree or Rudolph the Russian mobster Reindeer or a ginger bread cookie or and Elf or Frosty or Charles Dickens
  2. Cash: Bring cash to pay for your drinks as you get them. Bring cash for the subway or cab fare home. And bring cash to leave nice fat Christmas tips for all the friendly bartenders and cocktailers that keep all the Santas merry!
  3. Flask: I'm not saying Santas are scofflaws, but this Santa keeps a Private Stash in his Santa Sack just to keep spirits high between bars. Waiting behind 300 Santas for a beer can take a while!
  4. Phone: If you're joining the Yule Tide later in the day and you want to find Santa, you'd better be following BostonSanta on Twitter!
  5. Route map:  (goo.gl/UMdJC) Learn it. Print it. Pack it. Santa will try to keep to this route and schedule, but no guarantees!

* * *
Last minute Santacon Costumes:
This is when you can usually find cheap Santa suits in places like Wallgreens or other retailers. Lots of options online, just be sure it gets delivered before 12/17! If you haven't found a costume yet GO FUCKING FIND ONE!

* * *
Forecast: 
goo.gl/vlMhG and goo.gl/k3ieO

The weather's looking clear and cold, so make sure you're prepared for the walking between stops. If the weather really sucks, Santa will say "Fuck it!" and raze hell where ever he's at then take the Subway to Central. None of this will be decided before we start at noon on Saturday.

To be clear: Santa rides from noon on Saturday 'til he falls over no matter what the weather looks like. I don't want any belly aching from Wimpy the Elf about SNOW. Santa lives at the NORTH FREAKIN POLE. Santa drives a SLEIGH.

* * *
Four F's
Do not forget the Four F's!
  • Don't fuck with kids!
  • Don't fuck with cops!
  • Don't fuck with security!
  • Don't fuck with Santa!
Please feel welcome to bring your prankster presence. Megaphones and merry mischief are cordially invited! Santacon is hardly an event for the socially squeamish.

And please keep in mind: there is no "Santa Bail Fund". Anyone who crosses the Fun Line into Asshole Land is unwelcome. Play nice or get left behind. If you see any Poser Santas breaking the rules, tell them to knock it the fuck off or they'll get their furry fannies paddled 'til they fudge their flannels.

The clock is counting down!
Santa's coming to town!!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Boston Santacon Update 2: Route, Times, Locations, Google map, WHEEE!!

 Ho Ho Holycrap!
9 days til Santacon!!

* * *
Last year was epic chaos so the Santas have lined up EXTRA Spill-Over bars at every stop (you're welcome! Santa loves you too!). 

Here are the highlights:
  • 12:00 Porter Square - Christopher's & Tavern in The Square Porter
  • 2:00 - Cambridge Common (Spill-over at Temple Bar, West Side Lounge, O'Sullivan's)
  • 3:30 Harvard Square - Grafton Street & John Harvard's (Spill-over at Whitney's, Grendel's, Charlie's)
  • Mini-jump - People's Republik, Plough & Stars
  • 5:00 dinner in Central Square - Tavern in The Square & The Asgard (Spill-over at Cantab Lounge, Miracle of Science)
  • 9:30 Santa Dance Parties - Middlesex Lounge, Zuzu, Phoenix Landing

There's just no freakin way that all the Santas can fit into one bar. If this year looks anything like last year, it'll be tough for all the Santas to fit into TWO bars. So be prepared to go with the flow - if it looks like one stop is full, merrily make your way to a Spill-Over bar, or head over to the next destination, or mini-jump to someplace in between.

Check out our Google Map for all the details. 


View Boston Santacon 2011: 12/17!! in a larger map


* * *
Be Extra Nice to bar staff!
Part of the greatness of Santacon is bringing a surprise bonus of sales, tips, fun and good cheer to bar staff on an otherwise slow Saturday afternoon. Be patient with and gracious to the bar staff. Show your appreciation with a few extra bucks on their tip. This is what keeps Santa welcomed back year after year. The bar staff are Santa's hosts. 200 unruly Santas are difficult to deal with - disrespecting our hosts is the swiftest way to get Santa unapologetically ejected.

If you get the sense that Santa isn't welcomed by the bar staff, please encourage Santa to head out to the next stop. Santa much prefers to hop down to the next closest bar than to piss off an entire establishment's staff and management.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Boston Santacon 2011 Flier / Poster

The Media Elves have finished our flier / poster for Boston Santacon 2011!

Check it out, download, print,  post 5,000 full-color copies all over the city, hang it on your fridge, your door, your wall, your cube, your monitor, or your ceiling over your bed, or mail it inconspicuously to 300 of your closest friends ...

You can view it by clicking on the link to the right under "PAGES" titled "Boston Santacon 2011 Flier / Poster".

Or click HERE!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Boston Santacon 2011: Update 1

Listen up, all Ye Merry Santas and Elves:
We're 2 weeks away from Go Time. Here's some info from Santa to all you Krazy Kringles:
  • Four F's - Who remembers the Four Fs?
  • Costumes - Ya got those Santa Pants screwed on yet?
  • Updates - We're just getting warmed up ...

* * *
I'm sure a lot of you Snowflakes remember the Four F's from past Santacons, but Santa's gonna remind you anyway. If you're new to the Red Felt Rampage, the Four Fs keep Santas safe and out of trouble, so you better drill this 'til it comes outta your mouth faster than Ho-Ho-Hos or last night's Nog!

What are the Four F's?
  • Don't fuck with kids!
  • Don't fuck with cops!
  • Don't fuck with security!
  • Don't fuck with Santa!

And remember: There's no "Bail Fund" for Incarcerated Santas. Any Santas that cross the fun line into asshole land will be told to leave immediately. It's our gracious attitude and good spirit that keeps Santa welcome at these bars. So if you see any Poser Santas breaking the rules, tell them to knock it the fuck off immediately or they’ll get their furry fannies paddled ‘til they fudge their flannels!

* * *
Big day is only 2 weeks away! If you haven't got a costume, you'd best figure that shit out! 
Santacon Costume links:
  • santa suits online:
    • http://bit.ly/5TukiX
    • http://bit.ly/5bUdMB
    • http://bit.ly/8ZcFWX
  • Santa suits on Ebay: http://bit.ly/8cuhaA
  • Tips on making your own cheap and dirty santa suit: http://bit.ly/5i0xco
  • and check out the link on the right under "PAGES" titled "Santacon Costume Tips". 
You don't have to come as Santa, but you gotta wear a costume. So come as Santa, or an upside down Christmas tree, or Rudolph the Russian Mobster Reindeer, or Santa, or a Ginger Bread Cookie, or an Elf, or Frosty, or Santa, or Charles Dickens, or ...

* * *
This the first of the Updates for all you Naughty & Nicey St. Nicks: as the days count down, more updates will follow just to make sure you've screwed your Santa Pants on right!

This year's route is nearly completed, just awaiting confirmation from a couple bars. Once the route is set, an update will go out with a link to the Google Map. Like last year, we're trying to find a route with plenty of spill-over bars, which gets kinda tricky. There are TONS of great bars, but the past couple years have been too much Santa for any one bar to hold. It's not easy to find multiple neighborhoods with multiple bars all linked by a route for a few hundred Santas to stumble.

Our flier/poster will be sent out and posted in a couple days. In the upcoming week, updates will also get posted around to a bunch of sites. No one should have any trouble finding details. But if you know somebody who wants to attend and can't figure out how to search the Tubes, feel free to email Santa Boston directly!

the clock is counting down! so you'd better watch out! you'd better not cry!
Merry as hell,
Santa Boston

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Boston Santacon 2011: 12/17!!

Listen up, Coalbait, because Santacon Planning is Full Speed Ahead
  • Boston Santacon 2011 is Saturday, 12/17
  • The Head Santas are nearly sober.
  • The media elves are drawing up posters and the fliers
  • and cacophonous Clauses are hammering out a route.
Know what you're gonna wear?

Know who you're gonna bring?

2010 was total maniacal chaos.

We have no idea what to expect for 2011. But we're working on making it fun!!

2011 Santacon Info above << BREAK > > 2010 Info below

All posts below this point regard 2010.